As someone who only watches tv in the Gym often with month long gaps in between, the decline in quality in the last five years has been especially stark to my un-acclimatized eyes. Some of my favorite old standbys have gone over to the dark side, catering to what tv executives seem to think are the only people who watch tv: Trashy suburban TGI Fridays regulars.
Start with History channel, which has officially jumped the shark; shifting from real history ranging from ancient Rome to WW2 to "history" shows about Rodeos and M16s that are hosted by Larry the Cable Guy (what the fucking fuck happened!?) those atrocities are followed by the mouth breathing loggers from Vernonia being romanticized as working class heroes, then a ten hour marathon of how they make household items- a concept that would be interesting if I was on crystal Meth...and even then just a little. Then there is Food Network, where real cooking and travel shows have given way to bullshit Costco semi ready made meals and things like BBQ sushi made by not real chefs like Rachel Ray and Paula Deen. Even my beloved Animal planet has shifted its focus from zoology and those awesome wildlife Safari shows to cheesy 90s VHS style animal attack videos and exposés on middle aged women who hoard chickens or some stupid trash.
Pictured: History Channel presents "The Battle of Gettysburg hosted by Larry the Cable guy and Lewis the Sea Lion.
The moral here is, I am going to get morbidly obese, because I only like the gym because of the cable.
Start with History channel, which has officially jumped the shark; shifting from real history ranging from ancient Rome to WW2 to "history" shows about Rodeos and M16s that are hosted by Larry the Cable Guy (what the fucking fuck happened!?) those atrocities are followed by the mouth breathing loggers from Vernonia being romanticized as working class heroes, then a ten hour marathon of how they make household items- a concept that would be interesting if I was on crystal Meth...and even then just a little. Then there is Food Network, where real cooking and travel shows have given way to bullshit Costco semi ready made meals and things like BBQ sushi made by not real chefs like Rachel Ray and Paula Deen. Even my beloved Animal planet has shifted its focus from zoology and those awesome wildlife Safari shows to cheesy 90s VHS style animal attack videos and exposés on middle aged women who hoard chickens or some stupid trash.
Pictured: History Channel presents "The Battle of Gettysburg hosted by Larry the Cable guy and Lewis the Sea Lion.
The moral here is, I am going to get morbidly obese, because I only like the gym because of the cable.
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