Here's something I wrote while a bitter Starbucks Barista

While working at Starbucks as soon as fall came around so too came our seasonal drink the Pumpkin Spice Latte. Suddenly customers we had never before seen were lined up to the door angrily ordering Pumpkin Spice. They all seemed to share many an unflattering trait. It was only right of me to create a field guide to these freaks so young Baristas would know what to look for.

The Spicers Cometh: A Field Guide to Pumpkin Spice "Groupie" behavior (excerpt from Starbucks' Fall Training Manual).

by Devin Dimeo-Ediger on Tuesday, September 22, 2009 at 1:27pm

August 25: First trickle of bitter angry "Spicers" emerge from dormancy and demand Pumpkin Spice! When told there is none, they look at you like you've just killed their first-born and promptly storm out without buying anything.

August 25-29: Second wave of Spicers come out of hibernation and demand that we take the Pumpkin Spice out of the back room and make them a custom drink. Remember, Logic and reason do not work on the Spicer. They cannot be reasoned with. Without making eye contact simply say, "NO!" and get away as fast as possible.

Sept 1: All Spicers have now risen from the cold and shadow where they've remained hidden from the Sun for the past six months: The "Spicer Incursion" has begun.

Sept - January: Remember that Spicers never sleep; they draw all purpose and sustenance from our Pumpkin Spice. If ever you are out of Pumpkin Spice don't try to substitute a chai or apple cider for their lust is singular and unquenchable.

A common Female Spicer (Cucurbita Spaxima)